Sometimes...

Sometimes.... you need some people waiting for you across the street.... Only then you will have the courage to walk on.


Sometimes, the person beside you might just be a stranger.... But you just might be able to preserve eternal memory physically.

Memory fades. My memory is failing, I don't know how long can I remember things and people for, how long can it remain like this for. I don't know...

So sometimes, I just need some.... ...

近水楼台。。。I guess I don't have to continue with this sentence.

I just want to type some random things here tonight.

在我生日那一天，有人点醒了我。。。Someone really made me think if I'm thinking too much, imagining too much.

Today, I suddenly had this feeling that someone has not been telling me the full story. I mean, it could be me myself imagining too much AGAIN, but I know that this person is also not obliged to tell me the full story too. Despite that, I am trying very very hard to provide my complete trust to this person because mistrust is the first step to ruin any friendship. I just don't feel good when I'm facing the fact that this person MIGHT be withholding certain things from me (for what reasons, I am not sure) while as much as I would really love to know more, and know the truth. Well, I think everyone has secrets. Scorpios are secretive, hence, I cannot complain that people have their secrets too.

It's difficult, I know. But as much as it's within my ability, I would try. And if I can't, I'd probably say that I haven't been a good friend, I haven't been an understanding friend. Just not good enough.

Scorpios are just people who think too much, imagine too much, and just needs more reassurance.

My Birthday... :D

Well, it’s my birthday again. My annual ritual, the birthday entry. This year’s birthday is a totally occupied one, yet it's more of happy than sad, had a “surprise” and it seems to be more peaceful, as compared to the previous year.

The day…

I started the day with mugging for finance quiz. It turned out to be easier than expected. Of course, all the wishes started pouring in even from the days before, but most came in today, for which I was prepared because I cleared my phone of the messages already. Of course, some others wished me directly, where I greeted each one of them with my wide smile. There is basically no reason that I shouldn’t smile right? Heh.

So after the quiz, it was professional communication time! Given that it wasn’t my group presenting, it was quite relaxed. I promised to give Huang Min all my luck for her presentation, and I think she did well. So at the end of the lesson, Ms A returned us our results for the Resume and OP, for which I was quite satisfied because I did better than what I expected.

Lunch was actually McChicken EMV… I didn’t really expect to have this for lunch on my birthday, but alright la, because I haven’t ate macs for ages…No celebration as of yet...

Then we had an MPA seminar in the afternoon. I thought that it was quite a time wasting afternoon because I fell asleep during the seminar; secondly, it wasn’t that value adding. But the food was nice, really nice!! Then when networking, Prof Ah Seng and Prof TCC came over to talk to HM, then she told them that it’s my birthday, then they wished me!! AH SO EMBRASSING but still, thanked them! Haha Prof Ah Seng was so excited when he heard that it’s my birthday.

As I gathered with Poh, Worm, HM and HL for the reception, I wasn’t sure what will go on in the evening even though I have sensed something will be prepared for me since the day before. Well… Nothing up till this point in time was told to me, only that HL asked me out to shopping after the seminar… But still I sensed things fishy…

1. The day before, I came out of the toilet, I saw Worm suddenly changed a topic of discussion abruptly, for which I found was actually very funny, but I tried to control my laughter.
2. HM actually brought her camera to school! That is VERY VERY unusual because her camera is usually uncharged and dumped in one corner. So what’s the occasion?
3. They kept telling me not to eat so much at the reception… I asked why leh, because the food was actually quite nice, but I got no answer.
4. Worm and Poh left first. I asked where they going, they said that they were going to buy something. Actually there was nothing very fishy about this la.
5. HM left immediately after receiving a telephone call, leaving HL and Me with Prof Chew…
6. On the bus to JP, HL made a super surprising exclamation asking, why did I bring my camera today? O. Why was she so surprised leh? I guess that she probably thought that I knew something will happen.

When we were at the mall, I was already wondering if there was really a surprise for me or not. I wanted to ask but was afraid that it was just my own imagination. So I just walked, shopped, entered shops…. Then somehow, HL lead me to Fish and Co, and I saw some familiar people there! Haha the girls were there, Chung Jia, Encen, Songli, Huang Min!! :D:D AH HA~ Then they were like pretending that it was a 巧遇, but in fact it was a planned surprise! It was an all girls outing as the partners were chased away, so they helped me celebrate my birthday, and if you had celebrated your birthday at fish and co, you would know the ritual la uh… Hahah so paiseh but so happy!

After that, I was like telling them all their loopholes, and HL said it was like so difficult to trick me to Fish and Co given that I went in so many shops, from Minitoons -> Singtel shop -> Harvey Norman to test camera! Haha!! In the end, the 5 of them actually waited for me for very long!! It was actually very funny to hear the stories behind the surprise, and see them act like nothing happened. :PJust if you were wondering, why are there 2 big candles and 3 small candle on the cake, let me tell you that I'm wondering too... maybe I can use this picture back next year if nobody celebrates my birthday for me... So the night was very enjoyable, with nice food, nice chat, many photos taken with my nice girls. We also happened to witness a wedding proposal. Yes, it occurred at fish and co… Not fairytale like but it was still an eye-opening event. Just that I thought, um, it could have been at a better place. Wouldn't it be so unromantic should the couple tell their child that their dad proposed at JurongPoint's Fish and Co.... So so so so unromantic....
My birthday cake from home...

Feelings…

I was really touched by their efforts to plan a surprise for me, and of course, immensely happy that I could celebrate my birthday with my five best girlfriends in MS. How much sweeter can they get? Hence I greatly appreciate them and their effort given their tight schedules and looming examinations. I will treasure them a lot!

Basically I had 2 cakes this year, one from the girls and one from home. I also made 3 wishes. I had never quite believed in birthday wishes because it just seem to be something which people request the birthday person to make. But nonetheless, I still have wishes, because I have hopes.

First wish is as usual, the annual one which I make every year. The second one, hopefully it would come true within one year, but I have to work hard for it. The third one, I think is the one that might really be impossible, but I still made it because I am still hopeful even with the slim chance. Actually, I am quite satisfied with my life currently but there will always be room of improvement. Oh well…

I am yet older by another year. Turning 22 this time round reminds me of a David Tao song, 22. “刚甩开课本，要出去看看这世界”. Soon, that will come true. I am having mixed feelings about it now, but not that strongly because I still have quite a few months to graduation. But I am kind of feeling emo that it’s already the final year of my school life, final months, final phrases. I will miss all my friends, my MS class, everyone and everything.

This birthday, today, might have been a great day. But I’ll never know what will happen tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month. Being the kind of person I am, I really don’t know. It’s a future of uncertainty, yet I am not that worried as of yet. I’ll take everything as it comes, I swear.

I am enjoying this moment, my birthday moment.

Anyway, I would like to thank the following people, those who wished me as mentioned below. I am so glad that the remembered and bothered to send me a message, which was a kind gestures even from friends that I haven really heard from in a long time. I should be thankful for all that I have, but yet at times, I fear of losing the things that I own. It’s a contradictory feeling. But still, I would like to say A BIG THANK YOU to each and every one of them!

SPECIAL THANKS
* Huang Min – I already lost count on the number of times she wished me. I think it's four times? I guess she’s the sweetest one of all. :)
* Chung Jia - The mastermind of the surprises! The leader of Gossip Girls. Just love her so much.
* Hua Ling – The best actress!!! Hahaha she tried so hard to distract me and misleading me for the surprise. So yong xin, thanks her a lot!!
* Encen – Got to know her much more only this year, very nice, wonderful and smart girl!! She had an interview on that day, poor thing didn’t have lunch and had to wait for me for so long.. Hehe.
* Songli – My fellow DT BEST intern! Haha! So nice of her to come celebrate with me!! After all the times we spent at DT, I think we really got to know each other more.

SMS: Cecilia, Bing Qiang, Shu Xuan, Audrey, Kok Liang, Veron, Yilin 14, Jon Han, Eileen, Shara, Lisa, Iris, Joanna, Victor Ma, Qiao Hui, Chew Xia, Ying Mei

FACEBOOK/RENREN: Marilyn, Shiwei, Xuefang, Liang Jun, Yilin 13, Sin Yee, Wanting, Jeremy Shing, Deepika, Jaimie, Meow, Estee, Yuan Sheng, Yuyao, Jiayi, Yamini, Alison, Meiqing, Wei Fang, Choon Siong, Xin Jie, Sophia, Linda, Yi Fang

FACE TO FACE: Pa, Ma, Kor, Auntie, Wencai, Faiez, Tiao Kien, Poh, Yong Sheng, Kailun, Terry, Fiona (I still rmb your fried hokkien noodles on my bday last year worh! Gan dong for 1 year worh!) , Nicholas Toon, A/P David Chew Ah Seng, Assist/P Teo Chee Chong, Sofiana, Jianwen, Yusi

[I might have missed out on some people here because I really cannot remember everyone whom wished me today…lost count… haha]

MSN: Weixin , Alicia

So in conclusion… Actually I don’t really have many thoughts for this year’s birthday. Not EMO enough on my birthday to write something really…EMO…. So yup, this is the end, thanks everyone who made my day. I greatly greatly appreciate everything. At least I know that you all are still well and fine around me. :)

I AM IN THE 22 CLUB ALREADY!

Edit: Thanks the girls for their birthday gift. Thanks to buddy, YM, YS for their birthday gift too. Thanks Mr. Foo for his card game. This year, I only received 3 gifts, but it's alright. It's the effort, thoughts and heart that is put in to find the perfect gift for me that counts. :)

Edit the second. (Nov 10): Well, thoughts come a little late, or rather, thoughts comes when one is not feeling exactly overwhelmed by happiness and is too preoccupied with the happy thoughts and events which happened on that day than to think about any other things beyond.

5 days have passed, I am gradually sinking in the fact that I have passed the great 21. 22 sounds so old, seriously old. At 22, this point of time, I have almost everything that a blessed child has, but not exactly a totally all rounded life that I would like to have. In comparison sense, I know that I am lacking, lacking in some wits, some charm, some beauty, some character, some charisma, some confidence, some ideas, some guts, some aspirations. I cannot blame these on my past anymore, because I am old enough to stand up and decide what should be with my life. I would really like, but I am so bugged by social stigmatization that I still have this fear of losing. That should not be an excuse. I need to do something, because each year, I am older by 365 days, I need to be accomplished to not let myself down, because it will be a long way for me to support myself till I am old. Social stigmatization, I can never break through it, the only way is to start planning now, plan not, start now, act now.

Btw, don't think my birthday entry will get any longer than this. This is in fact, too long already. Thanks everyone for the well wishes once again.

Saturday Night

It's a saturday night. I am looking for the feelings I used to have on saturday nights. Usually, I will be at home, it's a kind of tranquility that I felt many years ago, but these couple of years, thing's have changed, especially these feel weeks. Not that tranquil, not that settled. I think it's partly due to the withdrawal symptoms I feel from the weekdays.

Weekdays always so busy, with people all around me. Come weekend, everyone go and does their own stuff, busy with their 'personal' life that I for sure won't be disturbed unless it's something got to do with work. I think I am still not used to being alone, on saturdays, nights. Got a feeling that I'm living my weekend to see my weekdays, because my weekdays usually pass faster and more fulfilling.

Oh wells, I think I can never rid of this emptiness on weekends.

It's just there, always there.

蝎

Source: 8 Days
If you can understand this, you can never understand me.

明知山有虎，偏向虎山行。
勇于尝试，还是，自寻短见？

明知不可能一样，心里却怀抱着一种期待。
这是一种固执，还是一种倔强？
真的，不可能一样的，不可能，不可能。

One last one... before the exams..

All down but one last one next week. At least I'm feeling much lighter and happier for these couple of days for a reason. These days have been better than those last week, but I know its not the end yet, in fact, its still pretty far away, but yet not that far..

Oh well well well. Now its back to FYP, tutorials and lectures at the moment... and some entertainment... before chionging for the exams ah..... CHIONG AHHHHHHHHHH!

I am drained... I don't know what to type here because I kind of depleted my vocabulary in 2 other articles and 1 presentation today. That kinda suck. I know, all I need is some sleep. Someone up there, help me please.

Btw, I just created a 人人网 account, social networking site in China. Anybody interested? Fb is getting boring. Ren Ren Wang seriously impressed me, although I am still trying figure out certain things.

DONT SMILE...

I tell you not to smile... Because I can't smile when I see this. Luckily its not on the 6th, otherwise I will really go berserk studying on the 5th.

Apart from berserk, I will sulk, moan, complain, yell and do any crazy things I would do. So luckily its not on the 6th. Heh.

Enjoy when it's over!

Irony of the day

I kept telling her to cheer up.

Someone else told me to cheer up.

Ironic isn't it? I don't understand myself.

I feel so mixed...

I just reformatted my computer. This is the third website which I visit after going to google and cnet to download AVG free.

Everything was fine yesterday, not today. I came back with virus in my thumb. Apparently I got it in school from some computer, which I highly suspect is the photocopying shop's computer.

Already, I was so panicky and afraid that I might lose my only soft copy of the file and other precious files in my thumb, I didn't really care if it affected my computer. Huge mistake. My beloved fufu got infected, so did all the thumbs that I connected to it. In a moment of desperado, I went to connect it to my desktop without thinking... Hoping that I didn't lose my FYP or anything.....

That's it. I thought my desktop was infected too. I eventually managed to retrive all the files (HENG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), but even if I didn't, Victor Ma has a softcopy of my report so I could actually get it from him. But, you just can't imagine the anxiety in me at that point of time, because that thumb is so so so so so damn important to me. If I ever lose it, that it man... FYP fail.

Putting the FYP thing aside, after that I tried for many (read: MANY) hours trying to clear the virus in my computer. Eventually, I got pissed off and reformatted it without much thinking. I thought that, hey since I just reformatted it some time back, there wasn't much stuff in it so I can affort a reformatting.

Halfway through the process, I kind of regretted, but it was too late. It's already lost. Some thing, I forgot to save, it's lost. Like the msn chat logs and my smses in the computer c drive. I would say that I treasure those much, but I simply forgotten about them, simply, in a moment of frustraton and impatience. Gone.

I wonder if this is a good thing? Those chat logs dated ages back, they held the memories of certain things, certain people. I don't look at them often, seldom in fact, but when I do look at them, I find them interesting.

And about the smses... I could only say Haiz.

Memories will be there, but time will fade anything and everything but records. When records are gone, and so will the feeling and the memories. I can only say that I am helpless and stupid.

Would I recover them if it's possible? Yes, but don't make me go through the agony and hassle of technology that I don't really understand again. That sucks, really sucks.

Now my computer is as empty as a shell. Feels like new again, perhaps it's time for a new start. New smses, new chats, new people, new me all over again, I think?

五百年前，是一家。

Origin of Fu*, Foo*

The 36th most common last name in China. The are two main origins of this last name.

1) Descendents of Huang Di, an ancient king. Huang Di’s grandson, Da You, was awarded the land of Fu, during the Zhou Dynasty. His descendents bear the last name Fu.

2) Descendents of Fu Shui, the prime minister of the Shang Dynasty. When Shang Wu Ding became the emperor, his kingdom was very weak, and Wu Ding vowed to strengthen his empire. One night, he dreamt of a fairy who introduced a man to him. This man dressed in ragged clothing and was a hunchback. The fairy said to Wu Ding, "This is the saint that can help you succeed." After he woke up, he drew a portray of this man, and asked his followers to look for him. Indeed, such a man was found in Fu Yan (south east of Ping Lu in Shanxi province). His name was Fu Shui. With Fu Shui’s help, the Shang Dynasty prospered. Shang Wu Ding is thus known as a king of reformation. Fu Shui on the other hand is known as the forefather of the Fu family.


Famous People in History

Xi Han- Fu Quan, Fu Jia Zi (dukes)

Nan Dynasty- Fu Zai (judge)

Tang Dynasty- Fu Yi (judge), Fu Lian Bi (general)

Ming Dynasty- Fu You De (general)

Source: http://www.yutopian.net/names/12/12fu36.html

Chinese : from a character meaning ‘symbol’, ‘tally’, or ‘magic figure’. This was one of the characters in a title meaning ‘keeper of the royal seals’. During the Spring and Autumn period (722–481 bc), a grandson of a duke of the state of Lu held a post as the keeper of royal seals. His descendants adopted a character from the job title as their surname.

http://www.ancestry.com/facts/Fu-family-history.ashx